


Please Come Home for Christmas

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: All the Fluff tags, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Christmas Fluff, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Nat gives Steve a sketch journal and Steve finds inspiration.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 8
Kudos: 132





	Please Come Home for Christmas

It’s starts in December when Natasha gives Steve a random gift. He finds it with a note on his dining room table. Not wrapped under the tree. It’s a drawing journal in deep, brown leather with thick paper inside. It’s beautiful and inside, tucked into the pages is a note that simply says, ‘Saw this and thought about you.’ 

That’s the start.

Steve hasn’t really drawn, seriously drawn, since coming out of the ice. Mostly, it’s just quick doodles on whatever happens to be around, but this journal inspires him. He goes to the park on an odd warm day in January and sees a group of men and women playing frisbee. One of the men has Steve freezing in mid-sit because he’s stunning. Longish dark hair, cheekbones more structured than the Avengers on a mission, sparkling light blue eyes. His mouth turns up in a smile that crinkles his nose and a thick muscled body with long legs. Steve can’t get his pencil out fast enough and draws the guy leaping into the air with a great, bright smile on his face.

That’s the beginning.

Steve sees him again at a coffee shop when the weather has decided to turn back to the blistery, wind-chilled winter that New Yorkers are used to. He’s sitting with a few friends and Steve sits at a table that angles in just the right way and he’s able to pull out his journal and pencil. The breathtakingly, beautiful man is in a thick pale gray sweater, loose jeans and boots. His hair in an upswept messy bun with tendrils hanging around his face. His lips are red like he’s been biting them and his eyes sparkle brighter than the lights at Christmas. 

Steve stays at the shop long enough to get the sketch done and then heads back to the Tower. Outside he takes one more look back and is stunned to see the man looking at him. And he’s smiling. It’s so soft, so gentle that Steve would swear that his lungs have decided to stop working. He finally, with a deep blush, returns the smile.

And it keeps happening.

Sometimes in March, Clint asks Steve to get Mexican food on his way back from his errands and when Steve steps into the small, hole in the wall place, the guy is there. Placing the order, Steve sits at the bar and pulls the journal out. Today, the guys hair is down, waves upon waves of deep, brown cascade over his shoulders. He’s wearing glasses today and Steve has no idea how this guy can get  any more attractive, but those glasses do it. 

The bartender puts a beer in front of Steve, whose attention is on the guy sitting at a back table with a young woman. He can’t see her, but the guy is smiling and when she says something, he laughs. Steve is filled with such a strong desire to hear that sound again and again. The guy looks up and sees Steve trying to get this moment down in the journal. So focused on the sketch, Steve doesn’t see him walk up until he looks up to get a shadow just right.

Slamming the journal shut, the guy is grinning, having seen what Steve was doing. “Oh...uh...sorry, this is probably really creepy to you.”

The guy laughs again and it melts all of the anxiety of being caught because it isn’t malicious. “Actually, I’m  kinda flattered.”

Steve blushes and hopes the lights are low enough that he can’t tell. Offering his hand, the man takes it. “I’m Steve.”

The smile he gets is small, but it lights all the way to the guy’s eyes. “I’m Bucky. Would you like to join us, Steve?”

He looks back over at the table where the woman is watching with mischief dances in her eyes. “Oh no, I don’t want to bother you.”

“Trust me, Steve, my sister would really like to meet you.” He ends up sitting with them until his order comes out, then he excuses himself and heads home. Steve knows that he’ll finish the drawing later, when he’s in his apartment and it’s quiet.

“Bucky.” He says it quietly on the sidewalk, just wanting to test the way it feels on his tongue. Just as he gets about half a block away, he hears his name and turns to find Bucky running after him.

Bucky gets up to him and stops to breathe. “Listen, I could be reading this wrong, but...”

“You’re not reading this wrong.” And the smile that graces Bucky’s face is  luminescent .

“Good, that’s...yeah, that’s good.” He blushes and it begs to be drawn. “Would you...I mean, I’d like to give you my number...you know...if you...”

“Yes!” It’s too forceful, too eager, but Steve can’t help it. He pulls out his phone and hands it over. As Bucky walks away, he smiles shyly and goes back to join his sister.

The following day, Steve does finish the sketch of Bucky and closes the cover of the journal just as his phone buzzes with a text. 

‘I don’t  suppose you’d like to get lunch with me, would you?’

Steve’s doesn’t really like texting, but for Bucky he’ll do it. ‘I would really like to get lunch with you. Tell me where and when.’

His phone rings seconds after sending and Steve answers quickly. “Hey Steve, I thought, if you are okay with it, that I’d come get you. The place I want to take you is...well it’s...out of the way.”

“Bucky, are you kidnapping me?” The bark of laughter on the other end of the phone is heart lifting and Steve can’t suppress the sigh of contentment.

“I am not kidnapping you, but it is kind of a drive.” 

“I’ll be waiting out front for you. How long before you get here?” The time and plans are set, Steve has enough time to shower and change. Bucky said casual, so Steve’s in jeans and a sweater.

Steve steps out onto the sidewalk outside of Stark Tower and finds Bucky sitting at the curb arguing with security. Stepping up to the car, the security guy seems surprised that Bucky was telling the truth and he really is there to pick up Cap. “ Thanks, Happy, but this is my ride.”

“Whatever you say, Cap.” Happy steps back and Steve climbs into the car, the blond only has eyes for the man driving. 

“Where are we headed that you couldn’t tell me and is so ‘out of the way’?” Bucky just grins and pulls away from the curb. “Okay, I see how you’re playing this and now I’m convinced you’re kidnapping me.”

Barking with laughter, Bucky reaches over taking Steve’s hand. “I promise, I’m not.” He doesn’t let go of Steve’s hand the whole drive out of the city.

They end up much further out than Steve anticipated, but when they get out of the car, it takes the super soldier’s breath away. “Bucky, this is incredible, but I don’t see a restaurant.”

There’s a chuckle from the trunk and Bucky comes around the car with a basket. “I asked you to dinner. I didn’t say we were going to a restaurant.” He takes Steve’s hand and pulls him through a set of trees. The view is like something from a fairy tale; hills covered in snow and the sun reflecting in a way that makes it look like diamonds. “It’s a little cold, but I read somewhere that you don’t really get cold much anymore.”

Dragging his eyes away, Steve looks at his friend. “But you do.”

“Yeah, but I have you here to keep me warm.” Steve blushes furiously and Bucky chuckles, pulling him to an outcrop. He spreads the blanket out and they enjoy their meal.

Steve sits a little closer than he normally would because he really is worried about Bucky getting too cold. When they’ve eaten their fill, he pulls out his journal. He doesn’t go anywhere without it now and moves a few feet away. He pretends to be looking at the view and sketching it out, but he’s really looking at Bucky. Steve thinks that the man might know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t say anything, which the blond appreciates.

“Bucky, talk to me.” The brunet looks over his shoulder and smiles at Steve. The super soldier really shouldn’t be so taken with this man so quick, but there’s just something about him.

“What do you want me to talk about?” Steve gives a half shrug and Bucky turns back to the view. “Well, when I was seven, we started coming here. There are cabins just over that ridge and we’d stay there during the summer. My dad worked a lot, so that was the one time of the year that we had together. When I was 11, I got lost up here and was alone for two days. I knew enough to keep hydrated, but not enough to know what I could and couldn’t eat.” He looks over and Steve’s stopped sketching and is just watching him. “Don’t worry, I didn’t get hurt or anything, I was just really hungry when they found me. I’d never seen my dad cry until then. He wasn’t even mad, just so thankful that I was okay.”

“Jesus Buck, I’m sorry, I…I don’t even know what to say.” Bucky nods his head at the journal and Steve goes back to sketching.

“Nothin to say, Steve. It’s not a bad memory, not exactly, the getting lost part, not great, but the way my dad held onto me when they found me, that was good.” He watches the sun starting to set and doesn’t realize that the light is casting him in a glow that Steve wants to remember forever.

“I’m thankful you’re okay too.” Bucky blushes and looks down. Steve will never understand how someone as lovely as Bucky can’t see what the super soldier sees. There isn’t anything about this man that Steve doesn’t want to understand. Reaching over, he puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Then he wiggles over and into Steve’s warmth, pulling the blonde’s arm around him. Leaning back, Bucky puts his head on Steve’s shoulder and Steve rests his on top of Bucky’s. They watch the sunset together and only when it’s completely dark, do they get up and head back into the city.

Steve finishes the sketch late that night after Bucky drops him off. Most of the way back to the city, Steve wondered if Bucky would try to kiss him, but it didn’t happen. What happened instead almost means more than a kiss would have. Bucky parked at the curb and pulled Steve into a hug the likes of which the blond hasn’t felt in a long time. He felt safe. The sketch takes on a softer note after that.

  


Natasha notices that the gift she bestowed on him stays with Steve all the time. Once, and only once, she tries to sneak a look, but Steve shakes his head. She’d ignore him and do it anyway, but there’s something in his eyes that tells her it’s more than private, it’s personal. She doesn’t try again.

They leave on a mission in April, meant to be long. By this point, the journal has 27 sketches of Bucky in all manner of different settings. Some the brunet knows about, most he doesn’t. They range from the first one from the park to one of Bucky sweaty at the gym. The other Avengers don’t ask about this man that’s started showing up at the Tower. 

There’s even a sketch that Steve did when Bucky fixed dinner for him at the Tower. He’s moving around the communal kitchen like he’s always been there, music playing and Steve sitting at the table watching. There’s a hand towel over his shoulder and a concentrated, softness on his face. It’s one of Steve’s favorites.

The mission is a lot of ‘hurry up and wait,’ so Steve sits and sketches. He’s tried to draw other things, but somehow it always comes back to Bucky. This one is Bucky laying on a pile of pillows the night before Steve left. His ‘friend’ had put the sofa cushions on the floor and thrown himself on top of them. With popcorn and beer, they watched a couple of movies. 

Bucky’s hair was fanned across the pillows and Steve couldn’t take his eyes from it. He has no idea what happened in the movie; all he knows is how Bucky’s hair looks in the light of the TV screen. He’s committing it to memory and the pages of the journal.

When they are in one of their wait times, Steve goes into the backroom and sends a text. Bucky told him to always let him know, when he can, that he’s okay. Within seconds he gets a response.

‘You know, I didn’t understand how hard it was going to be having you as a friend. I’m stressed out, man.’

Steve wonders if it’s too much and writes as much in the next text.

‘Don’t you dare think I don’t want to be your friend! I can be a little stressed while you’re out there saving the world.’

‘Thanks, Buck. It means more than you know that you want to be my friend.’ It’s not the first time that Steve has thought about Bucky being more. It probably won’t be the last time either.

  


July comes and Tony plans a party. It’s definitely not Steve’s idea for it to get as out of hand as it does, but Tony does tell JARVIS to invite Cap’s friend. Bucky shows up with a gift and leaves a small box on the kitchen counter. “What’s in that box?”

Bucky sniggers and pulls Steve towards the lift. “Those are cupcakes from a place near my parents. They are the best you’ve ever had.” Steve asks JARVIS to take them to the communal floor at half speed. “I’m assuming that  your billionaire friend will have a cake, but it will probably be some gawd awful combination of flavors. I wanted you to have something simple later.”

“When it’s just you and me?” Bucky nods and leans into Steve’s side. “Then why didn’t you bring my gift? I saw you sit it in my room.”

“Oh, well…see, it’s  kinda private and I didn’t want you to have to explain it to anyone else.” Steve scrunches his forehead and wonders what Bucky would have gotten him that was private. Instead of wasting precious time spent in thought, Steve slips his arm around Bucky’s waist and pulls him closer.

  


The party is just as loud and obnoxious as Steve anticipates, but Bucky has a good time talking to Clint and Bruce. Tony tries to draw everyone into a game of Truth or Dare, but Natasha immediately shoots that idea down. She says, “There are secrets that I’m not revealing, not even to you, Tony.” But she’s looking at Steve the whole time.

When they get back to Steve’s floor, Bucky serves the box of cupcakes because he was absolutely right and the cake that Tony had for them was some weird combination of passion fruit and chocolate. It was, in a word, awful and Steve is very happy to see chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and red velvet cupcakes in the box. “You really are the best! Which one do you want?”

Bucky chuckles. “Just one?”

“I make no promises that I won’t eat the other three because I love sweets.” He gets plates down. “Didn’t have them very much growing up, so when I did, I didn’t like to share. Feel lucky.” Bucky takes the chocolate one and leaves the others for Steve. Carrying their plates to the sofa, Steve detours into his room to get the present Bucky left there before the party.

When he opens it, he can feel his eyes getting misty. Running his finger down the side of the frame, he feels emotions, so many emotions, welling up inside. “Steve?”

Looking over at Bucky, he leans in to give the man a hug. “Thank you, but how and when?”

Bucky runs his hand up and down Steve’s back, soothing anything and everything that could ever be wrong. “I went back the next week when you were on that short mission with Clint. I waited until just the right time and got that.”

It’s taken from the same spot as their picnic, there’s still snow on the highest hills and the setting sun makes everything sparkle. “It’s perfect, except you aren’t in it.”

Bucky takes the frame and turns it over. Taped to the back is a selfie of Bucky getting as much of the background as possible, grinning at the camera. “I thought you might say that.”

They sit back on the  sofa; Bucky pulls his legs up under him and leans into Steve’s side. This is the best birthday that’s Steve’s ever had. 

He doesn’t know, but Natasha accesses JARVIS and sees the two. “JARVIS, have they ever kissed?”

‘Agent Romanov, it would go against my subroutines to reveal information about what happens within Captain Rogers’s apartment.’ Nat frowns, but it soon turns into a smile. ‘However, I can say that as close as they are, currently, is as close as they have gotten.’

“ Well, that’s just sad, JARVIS.” If the AI could laugh, Natasha is sure he would be.

‘Indeed, Agent Romanov.’

  


The journal is over half full of nothing except Bucky and Steve would feel creepy about that, except he can’t. Every one of the sketches is beautiful and Steve would like to be able to say that’s his drawing skill, but it’s really about the subject. He’s thumbing through the different sketches when his phone rings with a video call. It’s nearly three in the morning and he knows why he’s up, but doesn’t understand why Bucky is.

“Buck? You okay?” Bucky’s  lying in bed, covers pulled up to his chin with his phone propped up on the lamp on the side table.

“Hey, Steve, I’m okay, just had a nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep. Since you sleep less than I do, I thought I’d give it a chance.” He looks so warm, cuddled up in the blankets. 

Steve smiles softly at the picture Bucky makes. “Even if I was asleep, I’d want you to call and wake me up.”

“You’re the best, Steve.” They talk about nothing and nonsense until nearly four when Bucky falls asleep without hanging up the call. Steve is about to do it, but looks at the screen.

He’s never seen Bucky like this before. Peaceful in sleep with his beautiful face relaxed in a way that Steve’s never had the privilege of enjoying. Picking up his sketch journal, he starts on a new page. He’s so engrossed that he doesn’t realize how much time passes. At nearly six, he looks down at the drawing he’s just done. Looking at the screen, he can see that Bucky is still dreaming and Steve takes a deep breath and lets out the secret that he didn’t even know he had until this moment.

“I love you.”

The months pass and the pages of the journal fill up. By the time Christmas comes around again, there’s only one page left. He and Bucky spent the day decorating the tree and apartment. Steve’s been out of the ice for nearly five years, but this is the first time he’s decorated his apartment. When Bucky heard that, he dragged Steve out to buy things to make the space feel like a home. This morning they went out for a tree and after getting everything put together, Bucky even went into the kitchen and made cookies.

The whole situation is so domestic that Steve can’t turn his mind off from all the things he wants. When he was a kid it wasn’t about what he wanted, it was about need. When he came out of the ice and got used to the idea of being in the 21 st century, he didn’t let himself think about wants, just duty.

Now, with Bucky sitting on the floor by the tree, eating cookies and drinking hot cocoa, wearing a Santa hat and smiling at the TV, Steve wants in a way that he’s never wanted before. Picking up the journal, he turns to the last blank page and starts something new. He draws Bucky, shading in where the light from the TV casts shadows. The man is beautiful in a way that Steve can appreciate as an artist, but embrace as a man in love.

Once he’s done with Bucky, he adds the Christmas tree. By the time he’s done, the movie they were watching is over and Bucky looks sleepy. “You know, if you don’t want to drive home, you can stay here tonight.”

Bucky looks over giving a fuzzy smile and nods. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Just let me put the cookies up and...”

Steve stands, offering his hand, which Bucky takes. Pulling him to his feet, Steve hugs him close and kisses the top of Bucky’s head. “Nope, I’ll put the cookies up. You go shower and get warm. I’ll find you some clothes to sleep in.” He ushers Bucky down the hall and into his bathroom. Going back into his bedroom, Steve pulls out sleeping pants and a t-shirt. Leaving them on the end of the bed, Steve heads to the kitchen to put away the treats.

By the time Bucky’s out, Steve’s done in the kitchen. “So, if you show me where the extra pillows and blankets are, I can get set up on the sofa.”

Steve turns, brow furrowed and then remembers that Bucky doesn’t know how Steve feels, so of course he expects to sleep elsewhere. “Oh, I just thought...never mind.”

Bucky comes to him, wrapping Steve in a hug. “You thought what?”

“My bed is pretty big and I just thought...you know...I don’t mean anything by it.” Bucky rubs his face in Steve’s chest and then looks up grinning.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” Steve showers and when he comes out, Bucky’s sitting up in bed, scrolling through his phone. “You know, it seems weird to me that I’m sitting in your bed and looking at pictures of myself on the Avengers Official Twitter account.”

Steve throws himself on the bed and looks over Bucky’s arm to see. “Hey, you look good in that one.” It’s Bucky, holding a glass of champaign with Clint on one side and Bruce on the other. Both men told Steve that Bucky’s a great guy. Of course, the super soldier already knew that. Bucky yawns and snuggles down into the bed, putting his phone on the side table.

One minute he’s smiling up at Steve and the next, Bucky’s sound asleep. Steve just watches him for a little while, then grabs his journal and adds to the sketch he did earlier. When he’s done, Steve carefully gets out of bed and goes to the extra closet in the hall. He pulls out all the gifts that he’s collected over weeks for Bucky and wraps one last thing.

Going back to bed later, he curls up on his side and watches the man next to him. As he drifts off to sleep, he smiles and wonders what tomorrow will bring. If it involves Bucky, things will be perfect.

Waking the next morning to the clinking of glass, Steve sits up and sees Bucky standing in the doorway with a tray. “It’s not even Christmas morning yet and Santa seems to have visited.”

Steve blushes, but smiles. “Yeah, I got carried away.”

Bucky sits the tray across Steve’s lap and crawls back in bed. “Carried away is one or two things, but I checked those gifts, Steve, and everything under that tree is for me. Your friends are going to be upset with you.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, they won’t. Their gifts are under the one on the communal floor. The ones out there are just for you.”

Bucky leans into Steve’s side and they drink their coffee and munch on the muffins. “So, in my family, we always open one gift on Christmas Eve.”

“Oh, do you?” Bucky hums and Steve chuckles. “Are you going to open one at your parents’ later or were you hoping I’d let you do that here?”

Bucky sits up, trying to be shy, but not pulling it off very well. “I was hoping...just thinking...that maybe...”

“Sure Buck, you can open one of them here.” The other man is up and out of the bed before Steve gets all of the words out. 

“Come on, come on! There’s presents!” Steve moves the tray, grabs his coffee and follows Bucky into the living room. He’s just about to snatch one of the gifts when Steve stops him, with a hand on his arm. “Wait.” Bucky looks up, confused. “There’s actually one I want you to open.”

Bucky nods and steps away from the tree. Steve picks up the last one he wrapped the night before. He motions for Bucky to sit down and then kneels in front of him. “Steve?”

Reaching up, Steve brushes Bucky’s hair behind his ear, caressing the man’s cheek. “Promise me that once you open this, you will still be my friend.” Bucky looks, not only confused, but a little concerned. Taking the gift, he nods. Pulling the paper away, he sees that it’s Steve journal.

“Steve, I don’t understand.” Steve gives a pained smile and opens the journal to the first page, to the page with the first sketch he ever did of the man that he’s fallen in love with. “Oh.” Steve’s looking down at the sketch and smiles gently. Each day, each sketch is burned into his memory.

Bucky starts going through the pages and the more he sees, the bigger his eyes get. About halfway through, he gets tears in his eyes and Steve stands to go to the kitchen. He stays in the kitchen, leaning on the counter, hoping that he doesn’t lose this man from his life. He’s not sure how long he stands there, waiting for Bucky to either come to him or to walk out. 

Bucky shuffles into the kitchen with the journal in his hand, finger holding the place of the last page. Steve looks up, apology ready. “I knew on page 92 that I had fallen in love with you.”

Bucky flips back through the pages until he gets to the one Steve means. It’s the night he fell asleep. “And the one on the last page?”

“I never put myself into the sketches before, but...” Steve looks at the floor and Bucky comes over, putting a hand on Steve’s chest.

“But you were trying to tell me something?” Steve nods and Bucky puts the journal on the counter. “I’ve never been given anything like this before, Steve. I can feel how much you love me in every one of those drawings.”

“I’m  sor ...” The words die when Bucky kisses him. There’s nothing harsh or heated about it. Like everything else with Bucky, there’s a softness about it.

“Never apologize for loving me because I love you too. I have for a while.” Steve’s arms slip around Bucky’s waist and pull him in. “I  kinda thought you knew.”

“I didn’t.” Bucky cuddles into Steve’s chest. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Looking up, Bucky sees the same look that Steve’s been giving him for months. The look that says ‘you are my world’ and it’s like a revelation.

Steve smiles, leaning in to place a gentle kiss to Bucky’s lips. “For letting me love you.” The journal sits on the counter, open to the last page, the page where Bucky is sitting under the tree as Steve kneels in front of him, hand cupping his cheek.

Steve joins Bucky that afternoon for the Barnes Christmas and his parents and Becca are thrilled that the boys finally got their heads out of their asses and figured everything out. They return to the Tower for the Avengers Christmas and no one says anything outright, but Steve gets a few more pats to the back than normal. Natasha gives him a hug, but never says anything either.

When presents are done, they head back to Steve’s apartment, Bucky draws him into the bathroom where they shower and fall into bed together. If Steve thought Bucky was beautiful before, it’s nothing on what he’s blessed to see that night. They fall asleep, skin to skin, hearts beating to the rhythm of the other’s breathing. Steve Rogers, didn’t know he was lost in this new century until he saw a man, a gorgeous man, playing in the park. Now, in the wee hours of Christmas morning, he’s not only found, but finally home.


End file.
